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Fugitive's Bizarre Whiteboard Message to Police Backfires, Leads to His Arrest

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It’d be tough to be a cop. People are always lying to you. Even a sweet little old lady will lie to prevent a loved one or herself from going to jail. Dealing with liars is an everyday part of a police officer’s job.

But what happens when criminals are infected by the leftist mental disorder that causes weak minds to believe language creates reality rather than describing it?

You get some really dumb criminals that — some days — make the cop’s job a little easier.

Florida’s Polk County Sheriff’s Office posted a news release on Tuesday describing one of those days where the criminal — thinking he could create reality with words like some kind of god — more or less turns himself over to authorities.

“One of the worst things about being a cop,” the news release began, “is you always have to be open to the possibility that people are going to lie to you. No matter how sweet and innocent they seem.”

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This time the liar wasn’t sweet and didn’t seem innocent at all.

On Saturday afternoon, “PCSO deputies went to a residence on West 10th Street in Lakeland, after receiving a tip that a wanted person was at the residence.”

They were looking for one Johnny Yates, a 41-year-old wanted for “Aggravated Battery, False Imprisonment, and Tampering in a 2nd Degree Felony.”

Are criminals getting dumber in the US?

When they arrived to the house in question, they were greeted by a dry-erase whiteboard in a window with the words, “Johnny Yates does NOT live here!!” written on it.

The PSCO new release mocked the fugitive’s attempt to create reality, “Gee…a dry-erase board never lied to us before — should we believe it?”

A more serious question is, “Did Johnny Yates believe the sheriffs would buy it?” He at least hoped they did. And this raises another question, “What would make Yates even consider anybody — let alone authorities — would fall for such a lie?”

According to Tampa’s WFLA-TV, the deputies spotted somebody coming out of the house and learned from them Yates was inside.

The deputies used a loudspeaker to get the remaining occupants out of the house, but, after about an hour, they opted to smoke them out. The “surrender smoke” forced several people outside, at least some of whom were arrested.

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Yates was not among them.

Sheriff deputies then employed a K9 unit to search the home. “The dog sniffed out Yates, who was hiding in a ‘modified chest of drawers,'” according to WFLA-TV. Case closed.

Is Yates just really stupid or has he been watching too much establishment media? Maybe he watched the Russian Collusion Hoax unfold on CNN and thought to himself, “They had millions of people believing their lie, why can’t I do the same?”

Or maybe Yates was taught that truth is relative in school — meaning the only truth is what you make up, which means there is no truth — so why not give it a try?

The point is that Yates, no matter how stupid he was born, has been conditioned by leftist establishment society to revel in his stupidity.

Forrest Gump comes to mind, “Stupid is as stupid does.”


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Jack Gist has published books, short stories, poems, essays, and opinion pieces in outlets such as The Imaginative Conservative, Catholic World Report, Crisis Magazine, Galway Review, and others. His genre-bending novel The Yewberry Way: Prayer (2023) is the first installment of a trilogy that explores the relationship between faith and reason. He can be found at jackgistediting.com
Jack Gist has published books, short stories, poems, essays, and opinion pieces in outlets such as The Imaginative Conservative, Catholic World Report, Crisis Magazine, Galway Review, and others. His genre-bending novel The Yewberry Way: Prayer (2023) is the first installment of a trilogy that explores the relationship between faith and reason. He can be found at jackgistediting.com




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