The San Francisco 49ers released a statement on the situation Sunday.

“Trump sees many institutions as fortresses lately captured by radical progressives …”

“I felt like it was disrespectful.”

“Eve wasn’t sexually harassed or assaulted by God. She wasn’t a #MeToo victim,”

“I intend to investigate this further and look forward to receiving a full explanation about the use of donations.”

A clear example of a state infringing upon an individual’s religious liberties.

“Here with us today is another symbol of hope, a very brave 9-year-old girl …”

The theory that golden retrievers have jaws so gentle they can hold an egg without breaking it actually comes from the breed’s origins.

Grocery giant Whole Foods has a bit of a problem on its hands …

“You felt like you knew him.”