Ever Dreamed of Owning a 'Minimum Security Prison'? It's Yours for $1.55M

By Andrew Gordon February 15, 2023 at 10:30am

Sometimes, the things that cost the most money make no sense. (See what I did there?)

For example, paying $3,000 to live in a 500-square-foot apartment in Queens (not even in Manhattan), or buying overpriced coffee everyday when you can just buy quality pods for home at one-third of the cost, or Trevor Noah.

Well, on the subject of oddly expensive things, there is a house for sale in Ellijay, Georgia. The $1.55 million home is 5,000-square-feet and has three bedrooms and three baths. It’s also surrounded by a massive wooded area that sits on more than 87 acres. So far, it actually does make sense. Seems like a large house with lots of privacy.

So, why is it getting so much attention on the Facebook page Zillow Gone Wild?

Maybe it’s the creek, rolling hills, pasture land, primary bath upgrade, spacious kitchen, masonry fireplace, and basement with a safe room, according to the listing.

Nope, it’s the big watchtower that protrudes from the center of the house.

This home feature quickly became the talking point of many users on social media, according to The Telegraph, with one Twitter user even comparing the home to a “minimum security prison.”

When you want to rent out your home as a minimum security prison.

Also, I dated a girl from Ellijay. She was weird. https://t.co/8Wchwp3kgJ

— 🌹🌹Participation Trophy🌹🌹 (@CyclingUte22) February 6, 2023

Would you buy this home?

This user wasn’t the only one who felt the “unique-looking tower that offers 360 views of the mountains,” as described by the Telegraph, made the home feel less like a safe-space and more like a correctional facility.

A correctional officer’s dream https://t.co/iUSkJUp2qm

— Uncle Jam (@deandrejamaal_) February 6, 2023

One person on Facebook quipped, “This charming home features a deadly rooftop sled hill, alongside a prison guard sniper tower, with a cozy fire pit just below.” And yet another wrote, “When you want to live in prison but haven’t done anything criminal …”

Users didn’t just stop at comparing the home to a prison.

One user tweeted, “This home has an air traffic control tower on the front of it.”

This home has an air traffic control tower on the front of it

— Riley ⧗ 🧢 (@rileyanntoine) February 5, 2023

In keeping with the control tower-themed comments, another Facebook user wrote, “When you really wanted to work in an airport control tower, but the best you can do is this.” And yet another posted a clip of a scene from “Top Gun” with the caption “Negative Ghost Rider. The pattern is full.”

The tower was also compared to something from a fairy tale (“Doubles as Rapunzel’s crib or an air traffic control tower”), a lighthouse (“When you want a lighthouse but you’re not near water…”), and a great place to own when the zombie apocalypse begins (“The best part of this MLS listing wasn’t mentioned on FB: a triple armored front door, a zombie proof roof, gun ports on every corner and level, a fully electrified double perimeter fence, multiple underground escape routes and scattered infrared motion sensor flame throwers”) — among other things.

What is the explanation for the tower? Air traffic control for hawks? Climate-controlled deer stand?

We may never know (though it probably has something to do with the view of the landscape).

What I do know is that when I buy a million dollar home, the highest structure will be a giant water slide out by the pool. I hear they are a lot more fun than watch towers that look like they came out of World War II.

Now, in all fairness, the home is surrounded by beautiful rolling hills, which can be better viewed from the lookout. I am pretty sure that was the idea behind the design. But, is it possible to build a tower that doesn’t look like Rikers Island?

Submit a Correction →