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NYT Prepares Dems with 5 Coping Strategies as Red Wave Looms: Somehow Not Satire

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This can’t possibly be real.

The New York Times is recommending five different “ways to soothe election stress,” offering means for the liberal rag’s viewership to cope with election-related anxiety.

The Times suggested its readers “breathe like a baby,” “cool down” and limit their scrolling in the event they found midterm election night simply too much to bear.

Some of the outlet’s strategies appeared to have been taken from a playbook used by kindergarten teachers.

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The Times was quickly blasted for the overly dramatic advice, with sane adults pointing to the stress management techniques as indistinct from a parody.

Others pointed to the advice as textbook evidence of the progressive Left’s penchant for electoral freakouts when they don’t get their way.

Babylon Bee editor-in-chief Kyle Mann recognized the Times’ reality as more entertaining than the Bee’s fictional parody, extending a job offer to the writer responsible for devising the list.

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The advice was issued hours before polls close in the states hosting the most competitive elections.

The use of the coping techniques could amount to an admission that a “red wave” is coming, much to the chagrin of the Times’ coastal liberal elite readership.

Most polling suggests that Republicans stand a strong chance of securing a majority in the House of Representatives.

Do you think these coping strategies are ridiculous?

The GOP’s prospects in the Senate have improved at the eleventh hour, with conservatives eyeing victories in make-or-break contests in Pennsylvania and Arizona that could determine control of the chamber.

Granted, every election is important.

But if the consequences of any individual election is enough to make you “breathe like a baby,” one seriously needs to reassess the importance they place on politics and elections in their own lives.

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