Wife of Dead Pastor Reveals He Saw Sinister Creatures Before Suicide: 'There Is Evil in This World, And It Is Truly Dark'
Kayla Stoecklein’s life seemed like a charmed one from the outside looking in — wife of a successful megachurch pastor and mother of 3 beautiful children — but underneath the happy exterior, pain and despair loomed large over the household.
Heavy expectations were placed on Kayla’s husband Andrew when his father was diagnosed with an aggressive form of lymphoblastic leukemia in 2011. He passed away in October 2015.
“When you’re young and you have a lot to prove and you have a huge ego, a lot of people that are young in any profession are trying to prove themselves, and they’re working out of their own ego,” Stoecklein recalled, the Christian Post reported.
“After Andrew’s dad passed away, he only took two weeks off and then he went back and he preached a series on Heaven. He should have taken a year off; he should have taken way more time off. He probably shouldn’t have become the lead pastor at such a young age. They should have hired somebody.”
She later added, “They could have helped raise him up into that position in a healthier way, that slower way, in a way where he had more time to learn.”
Due to the weight of this added stress, Andrew was crumbling.
During their first anniversary while staying at the Langham hotel in Pasadena, the couple were “madly in love, crazy about each other, and the night kept getting better,” Stoecklein remembered.
The two first finished dinner, and then Andrew took a shower while Kayla relaxed by watching some TV.
While watching, Kayla heard a noise coming from the bathroom, and soon realized the sound was Andrew crying.
“I rushed into the bathroom, pulled back the shower curtain, and there he was, on the floor of the shower, curled up in the fetal position, shaking, terrified, and crying hysterically,” Stoecklein wrote in her first book, “Fear Gone Wild: A Story of Mental Illness, Suicide, and Hope Through Loss.”
When he was calm enough to speak, he told her — in elaborate detail — of an evil presence he’d encountered that he could only call a “creature.”
Unfortunately for the couple, it was a darkness that would continue to stalk Andrew.
“I wish I could say he never had another encounter with darkness, but I can’t. Throughout our marriage, Andrew continued to be taunted relentlessly.” Stoecklein said.
“[T]here is evil in this world, and it is truly dark,” she added.
As his depression continued, the dark spirits resurfaced time and time again.
“The darkness continued to pursue Andrew relentlessly. He would often experience encounters with the darkness in his dreams, and this became magnified during his battle with depression and anxiety,” Stoecklein said.
This darkness plagued Andrew as his thoughts eventually drove him to suicide.
While it is unclear exactly what was haunting Andrew, Kris Vallotton — co-founder of Bethel School of Supernatural Ministry in Redding, California — indicates that “[s]uicidal temptations that begin in the soul are, in many cases, the result of unprocessed pain.”
“None of us have arrived. None of us have it all figured out. None of us are whole. All of us are still growing. All of us are still learning. All of us are still broken.,” Stoecklein said after her husband’s death.
For those struggling, the best first step is to honestly and earnestly address the specific heartaches at the source of the sadness. Speak with friends and family openly about your concerns. Open dialogue is the fastest way to reveal hidden wounds and begin the process of healing.
If you or someone you know is in crisis, please call the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 1-800-273-TALK (8255) or contact the Crisis Text Line by texting TALK to 741-741.
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